With every new game I find a new Pokemon to adore above all others. I grow so emotionally attached to this quirky little creature that I often fail to notice that he/she sucks and I really shouldn’t have them in my party. First it was Squirtle. Then Hauntar. Then Golem. Last time it was Zigzagoon and Slackoth. This time a Pokemon called “Shinx” has filled that spot.

Isn’t it AWESOME?! I love it. It already evolved into something uglier, but I don’t care, she’s still my new favorite Pokemon. I just hope she ends up being useful. Not like that stupid (yet wonderful) Zigzagoon.

Current Number of Enslaved Pokemon: 15

You may have noticed the blog updates have become a little more sporadic as of late. This is for two reasons: 1) I have gotten busier and 2) I have had nothing to discuss. While I could log in anyway and rant about Pat Sajak shaped pasta (oops, too late) I found myself unable to waste my own time and yours, dear reader, by writing something worthless and without meaning. So I skipped a few days. I think in the future I’ll just pick a topic at random and write about it, and leave it up to you, good reader, to decide if you want to take the journey into the world of my completely pointless words.

This week’s Cubetoons comic is another one of those “editorial” style, single panel endeavors. I know some people enjoy those, and some don’t. I’m working on finishing it up, but find myself distracted by the Cubetoons/Fred/Kingdom Blue Forums. If you haven’t signed up and participated, I highly recommend it. If you have signed up and haven’t posted there recently, get your butt in gear. And if you (like me) signed up and find yourself wasting countless hours discussing frivolous topics on the boards, for goodness sake don’t stop now. You never know when that next thread on the horizon might need your input.

Now back to the boards- er, work. Also, I always thought “sporadic” was spelled “sparatic”.

That’s the plan right now! With the FAA finally set up, and me finally figuring out how to make that work, Fred updates could very well return to their formerly weekly schedule. Not yet though. This Friday will go by either update-less or with something very small. Then I should be able to get on a regular schedule with the crew and things will be looking up.

Also on the future’s horizon, I finally managed to pick a place and date for the upcoming wedding. Looks like people will have to go without Fred, Cubetoons, and KB this August, because I’ll be sitting on a beach somewhere for most of it. I’m still trying to decide if I’ll do some filler stuff for while I’m gone that month. If there’s time I will, otherwise September will see everything’s return to updating.

And speaking of updating, I want to touch on Kingdom Blue. I haven’t updated it in a while, and that discourages me. I’d really like to get a new one done for people. So if you see me mucking around the forums before KB Issue #5 hits, tell me to get my butt in gear, will you? It isn’t like I’m not crazy busy, but I still really want to get another issue of that series out already!

See that title there is what we call in the advertising world a “hook”. It is something that is there for the sole purpose of drawing you in to find out more. Most of the time this is done with a picture of a societally-accepted-as-good-looking half-naked woman, so that male consumers become so engrossed in the image that they no longer care what the product is, but feel the need to purchase it. This blog entry has nothing to do with Pat Sajak, or even pasta, yet you were drawn in by the mere THOUGHT of Pat Sajak shaped Italian noodles. Indeed I even changed the type face of half-naked woman to bold twice in order to consume the attention of even more individuals. Advertisers are clever folk indeed. And almost always terribly cruel.

What this blog entry IS about is how I can’t believe the word ’societally’ is a real word. Wow. Seriously, when I typed that and Firefox didn’t put a squiggly red line under it, I was shocked. I bet you were shocked too, weren’t you? Now your vocabulary has been expanded, as mine has been. What a great day.

So, this Sunday Pokemon hits the DS. All new full-RPG adventure. Oh how I wish I wasn’t so busy. But I’ll almost certainly be picking the game up anyway. I’ve got a few Best Buy reward zone gift certificates laying around I can use. And then it’s off to catch them all.

I’m seriously considering, for kicks, keeping all my Pokemon (the ones in my team, not those that I’ve merely enslaved to be kept in a computer for the rest of their miserable lives) at the “starter” form level. No evolving. They’re so much cuter that way, and honestly, when you’re destroyed by a Pichu and not a Riachu, you feel so much more humiliated. And that’s what Pokemon battles are all about: Gaining the right to laugh in your 12-year-old opponent’s face when his precious monsters have been ground to dust. (Adding “Oh they didn’t just faint, they’re DEAD!” may seem mean, but it’s part of the Pokemon Code. It must be done.)

I also look forward to spending some more quality time with my DS. With the addition of Super Paper Mario to my game library, my Wii has been getting the majority of my free time over my most favorite handheld system ever. Also, I’ve been sneaking away from my desk to play this little gem of a game. It may not look like much, but seriously give it a shot. It’s amazingly fun when you get into it, plus it’s totally free to download. (Free = good.)

EDIT: You may also want to check out this interview at Joystiq, with the creator of that game linked above. See if you can’t find any fun little bits of info in it.

For a few sweet weeks, things slowed down. I don’t know why it did exactly. But now things appear to be back in full force once again.

Apart from finishing my basement, the latest project at the new house, I have that whole “wedding/honeymoon” thing that’s suppose to happen in a few months that honestly I really should probably start working on. A lot. The books say “Do this and that at 6 months before the big day.” Considering I still don’t know when the big day IS exactly, that could mean trouble. Ah, what do books know, right? Then I’ve got the normal Cubetoons and Fred updates, not to mention Kingdom Blue which has gone into hiding and refuses to come out. I think Issue #5 may be ugly, fair warning. If I don’t just DO it, it may never get done. THEN I’ve got several new projects that I must do for my church, including building giant wooden signs and painting them. It always seems like an easy task until it’s there and not done. THEN I have something else, too. One of those “if you do this you can get money and pay bills” things.

I’m going to almost certainly need to rethink my schedule, or I will have a trademark nervous breakdown. However I have, in the past few weeks, sworn off my nervous breakdowns forever and ever, so that is no longer an option.

I have an awesome belt. When you remove it from the buckle and pull, it goes “Shhhhhhing!” like a sword being unsheathed. It is by far the coolest belt in the world. How many other belts make sword noises when being removed? The problem is, some people don’t seem to share my sentiments of just how incredible the sword-noise belt can be.

Example.

I was waiting for the bus yesterday. Though it wasn’t particularly nice out, I decided to make a break from Winter (as discussed yesterday) and go without a coat. An elderly woman approached and began to also wait for said bus. Knowing that I donned the Belt of Awesome Noises, I turned to her with a grin.
“Hey, check out how awesome this is,” I said with the grin that I just previously mentioned. I proceeded to attempt to show her the extremely cool noise my belt makes when being removed. I say attempt because for some reason she began screaming and hitting me with her purse. Screaming and screaming, she refused to listen to my explanation of just how incredible my pants-holding attire was. Soon after a crowd gathered. I thought “This is a great time to show everyone the Belt of Sword Sound Effects!” I was apparently wrong. They were more interested in restraining me and calling the police. Fools. Now they shall never hear the devastatingly monumental noise my belt makes.

Perhaps the story was a bit exaggerated and made up. But I really do have the belt. And yeah, it’s REALLY that awesome.

Dear Winter,

We’ve been seeing each other a lot these past few months. With our history, on and off for 20 some years, I know we’ve been through a lot of stormy weather, and yet still managed to put that aside and go day to day. Since November, we’ve really gotten to be close, especially on those cold mornings when I don’t want to get out of bed but you make me. You know, because if I don’t I’ll freeze to death.

See, that’s the thing. It always seems to be you forcing me to do what you want. I don’t want to scrap ice off my windshield. I don’t want to shovel the front walk and put down salt. And I really don’t want to wear long sleeve shirts anymore. But do you compromise? No. It’s just more sleet and dropping temperatures. I can only take so much.

I won’t lie to you, there’s someone else. A few weeks ago it was 80 degrees and we… well, let’s just say I got to play tennis again, something you and I never do. Summer is everything I’m looking for. Hot, bright, sunny personality. Makes me feel warm and that it’s okay to wear tank tops even though honestly I know I’m too skinny for them. You’re never like that. You’re just so cold…

So I’m leaving you. I’d appreciate it if you’d get your stuff and just be out of my life. I don’t want to put up with your icy glares and frigid touch anymore. No, now, don’t cry. Your tears would just freeze and make me hate you more.

-JKR

Well, deciding on the FAAs is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to decide on. After narrowing it down to about 8 final applicants, I just didn’t know what to do. So I decided to take it further: More tests. Sort of.

I will be sending out the acceptance emails in a few minutes. The plan now is to have these 8 people work on parts of the next cartoon. After this real-world scenario, I will have a better idea at which are best suited for this first run of FAA members. Also, some may decide not to pursue the job. It IS a lot of work. For now, the FAA will consist of these 8 individuals. Welcome aboard.

For those that didn’t quite make the cut, worry not. I’ll almost certainly be holding tryouts for more FAA members in the future. As FredtheMonkey.com grows and expands, more help will be needed to provide the best animations and cartoons to the people of the world. So brush up on those Flash skills and good luck at the next run.

I will say, there was one main reason a bunch of people didn’t make this round. A lot of folks didn’t even use the extra mouth movements included in the test. These are all new mouth poses that will begin to be in Fred cartoons in the future. Not using them where they fit wasn’t the right idea. Next time, I’m sure you’ll use all the ones that fit.

Also, a HUGE thanks to everyone who applied. I didn’t know so many people would be so ready to jump in and help take FredtheMonkey.com to the next level! Reminds me why I keep making the cartoons, so thanks for the interest.

We got a lot of GOOD things for updates, stranger!

First up, as promised, Mailbag 41 is here and ready for watching! There’s a subtle hint in there, hidden within the cartoon. See if you can find it. Hint: It has to do with Sears.

Next, also as promised (I’m on a roll today!) there’s an all new Cubetoons at IGN! It hasn’t made it’s way to Cubetoons.com yet, but it will later this weekend.

And last but not least! The results of the FAA!! Oh wait, no. That one isn’t done. Oops. But seriously, I’ll be sending out the acceptance emails this weekend, so sit by your inbox refreshing furiously to see if you get a note. Or, probably better, check on Monday to see if you’ve got mail from FtM.com. That will be easier on your nerves.